Anne Peterson

Click on link to view my article about Easter.

Do you struggle with needing things just so?

Back in the summer I remember going for a doctor’s visit. I was to have a cyst removed from my arm. It was a nuisance for me and I noticed it had gotten larger. Before they could remove it they needed to do an MRI, an ultrasound, and I don’t know what else. After the results they had the go-ahead to remove the cyst. Following the reading of those tests they noticed a spot. A spot on my liver.

Then we had another test and I was sat down and told, that the spot on my liver is okay, but …

No one likes to hear “but.”

Well, they found a spot on my pancreas. That one seemed to concern them more. Concern is contagious. I left with a coat of anxiety covering me. One that would surround me for months. 

More tests followed and the results were coming. As I waited my fears grew. My brother Gus had pancreatic cancer and the thought of me following in his footsteps was tortuous. Gus told me not to worry, he would be here to help me. More waiting, followed by tons of prayers.

The results showed the spot on my pancreas was benign. I started to breathe. When I saw the doctor he still looked concerned. I told him the nurse told me that the test results showed it was benign.

“I dont’ know why she told you that,” he responded.

I asked, “Is it cancer?” At least I heard myself ask him that.

“No, it’s not cancer, but it doesn’t matter that it’s benign. What we have to do is closely watch it. We will give you another MRI in December and if it has changed in any way you will require extensive surgery that will involve your intestines. It is a big deal. If it has not changed in 6 months, then we will take another MRI in 6 months to a year.

Somehow that spot was now calling the shots. 

I remember when I was a little girl and Spot was a dog. “See Spot. See Spot run.”

Now I hated spots.

The months passed on and while I didn’t obsess about the spot, the thought of it was always in the back of my mind.

Then fall came and we had to say goodbye to Gus. Gus, who had told me not to worry, but I was worried. And facing this without his help. 

Finally after getting as many prayers as I could solicit I went for the MRI. Then I found myself waiting again. Waiting for results.

I wanted the spot to be gone, that’s what I really wanted. And if it couldn’t’ be gone I wanted it to have remained the same, but, if it had changed and I needed surgery then I simply wanted God’s Grace. Grace that God gives to help us through difficult stuff. Grace we can’t get anywhere else. That was my threefold prayer.

Well, last week I called for my results. The spot is gone. And I am surprised by my reaction. I am thankful, just quiet. For one day there was no spot, and then it was there, and now it’s gone. 

I still hate spots. There are people who pray that their spots disappear but God answers their prayers differently. I have been reminded of a world that has always been there, the world of cancer.

I’m sure God hates cancer as much as I do, probably more. And yet, all of us probably know someone who is receiving news about a spot even today.

One day I’ll live in a land of no spots, no pain, no tears, the place I was made for; I’ll finally be home. 

Do you struggle as a parent? Perhaps it is because of some of your beliefs. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about how God tells us to be in step with the Holy Spirit. This is a hard request. Mainly because we think we are authorities on our lives. We have an idea how things should go and when they should move. For God to ask us to be in step with His Spirit means we will have to forego our ideas, and that is where the difficulties lie. We really like to drive. I find that no matter who is behind the wheel in our vehicle as long as I can apply my own brake, I’m okay. Sure, it’s aggravating to the driver as I press down on the floor or make an occasional gasp, but at least I’m not grabbing the steering wheel, if you don’t count that one time.

We like to be in charge. 

When the Israelites were told that they would be led by the cloud by day and fire by night they had little choice. Every day they didn’t have to worry about where they should go, or how long they should stay there. God determined it. They simply had to obey. When I think about them, I hear myself say, “Wow, that would be great.”

But, when I give it a little more thought I realize it didn’t matter what they thought, they were not driving. The whole trip they were to make would have taken weeks. It took them 40 years. And as we find out from scripture, some of them never made it.

God cares about our obedience. He implores us to follow His lead. And His Holy Spirit is there to guide and direct. 

If I could just get myself out of the way, it would be so much easier. And yet, that is done when I decide to get out of the driver’s seat. 

Being in step with the Spirit means waiting on God’s timing. It doesn’t mean I run ahead and try to pull him with me. Nor does it mean I drag my feet when He tells me it’s time to go.

I heard somewhere that partial obedience is disobedience.

When God says “Go,” we’re supposed to go.

So, today I am asking God to help me be in step with the Holy Spirit. You know, I don’t have to worry about the destination. God will get me where He wants me to be. I just need to worry about the next step.

I think maybe I’ll rest my eyes and let Him drive.

It’s funny how our perspectives change according to what’s going on in our lives.

You go through life with dreams and goals you hope to attain and then you take the necessary steps. If your goal is a career you have one path, and each path has little detours.

If your journey includes illness it’s a different set of rules, a different path altogether. One of my loved ones is fighting cancer. It is difficult to watch someone as they deteriorate right before your eyes. The other day I saw him struggle with one of the most basic things, plugging in his cord to his cellphone to charge it. His mind knew what he wanted to do, his fingers tried to follow the steps, but there was a disconnect. The simplest thing was so difficult.

That same day I saw him try to pick up a utensil. Something we do subconsciously, with no effort. Not so, when someone is ill.

What I’ve noticed is that we end up being happy with the little things accomplished. Just like when we have a baby and watch the growth of our child. Each new day we see him/her accomplish things never done before.

Maybe as one is ill their journey is similar to that of a child. All I know is I am being thankful for things I once took for granted. The ability to do the smallest tasks.

He got to go outside. It was the first time in a long time. And we go outside everyday. To us it’s not a huge accomplishment, but instead it’s something we just do.

Perspective. It changes everything, doesn’t it?

I just read a devotion by Charles Swindoll. He was talking about young David who God chose to become king. Swindoll stated that David wasn’t presumptuous. And it hit me, I’m presumptuous. 

Otherwise why would I get frustrated when things don’t go a certain way? It’s because I presume to know which way they should go. I presume to know how God works, HOW God should work, and also WHEN He should work.

Scripture tells us in Isaiah 55:8-9 that His ways are not my ways, they are higher than my ways, but I deliberately ignore that, thinking I have God figured out. God continuously allows circumstances in my life that illustrate I DON’T know what He’s doing, but still there is this arrogance inside me, this need to feel I know what God is going to do.

There are some things of which I’m certain. I know God loves me ( John 15:13). God has counted the hairs on my head (Matthew 10:30), He knit me together in my mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13), He has my name written on the palm of His hand (Isaiah 49:16). I know He loves me because He says so over and over again.

But, that doesn’t mean I know how He works. When Jesus healed people he used different methods. Maybe so people wouldn’t trust the methods, but instead trust Him.

Anytime I show impatience at God’s timing, envy at others who receive what I am waiting for, I am being presumptuous. 

I hate it when people have a sense of entitlement. And yet, when I presume God is going to work a certain way, isn’t there a sense of entitlement at work in me? Sadly, I have to say, yes.

I need to believe the promises God gives His children. And the rest? I need to leave it up to Him. To work the way He wants to work without breathing down His neck. 

The other day I fell asleep and had this dream. I dreamt God was walking around in a suit. I did not see his face but I knew it was God. We worked in an office and he came over to me and said, 

“I don’t have anything to do, everyone keeps taking my work off my desk.”

And of all the desks in that office, He stood at mine? Well, one by one I handed him the things I had taken from Him. The things I had worried about, till His hand had this huge pile, and He walked away.

Presumptuous. I don’t want to be presumptuous, I want to stand in awe.

I’ll admit it, I’m a black and white thinker. It’s something I’m trying to change but sometimes it’s a real struggle. Still, I’m determined to hang in there till I see other shades.

Recently I fell prey to my faulty thinking.

Waiting for results from a medical test I had two scenarios worked out.

A) If the results were good then I would feel a certain way.

B) If the results were bad, then my feelings would follow suit.

Black or white, no in between.

I am learning that God works in between a lot of the time. 

Well, finally the results came and they were neither A nor B. They were C.

I found myself back in the waiting room, the place we all dread. Plus, I didn’t have plans for C.

The good news is, God isn’t surprised by any scenario, He sees all. God already knows our what our futures hold.

I can trust in the fact that He knows when I don’t have a clue.

God is a Grace dispenser and will give me Grace for what lies ahead. 

god is even in the “in between” parts of life.

I’m not going to lie. I wish my results would have been more cut and dry. I wish the waiting would be over, but I am moving towards resting in God instead of my circumstances.

Our circumstances can change in a moment. He never changes.

Our circumstances can be big. He is bigger still.

Back to the waiting room, but as I settle in with my magazines something is different: I am learning to lean hard on God. To leave the results to HIm. This is hard, but I know He’ll help me. 

I wish I was completely well right now, but I’m glad that I know Jehovah Rapha, the one who heals.

And as God transforms my black and white thinking, I know He will be patient with me. He knows it takes me a while, and He has all the time in the world.

According to the New Oxford American Dictionary online, when you look up courage you find: 

courage |ˈkərij; ˈkə-rij| noun, the ability to do something that frightens one : she called on all her courage to face the ordeal.

I was courageous this week. I found my voice which had been missing for a very long time. I used to mistakenly believe that courageous people did things others couldn’t do. But, when I realized courageous people do it while they’re scared it hit me; sometimes I have courage.

The trick lies in not being paralyzed by our fear. I confess fear has paralyzed me. I kept waiting till my fear was gone so I could proceed. I’ve come to realize if I wait for that, I’ll never move; I’ll be forever stuck.

The abundant life Jesus offers us and being paralyzed are on opposite spectrums. Remember the paralytic who laid by the edge of the pool and never got to experience the healing waters? When Jesus passed by he asked him if he wanted to be well. The man proceeded to explain why he was still in the state he was, paralyzed. His list did not take any responsibility. Instead, he pointed his finger at his circumstances, the insensitivity of others, anything but himself.

We all have problems; some of them obvious, others better hidden. Paul wore his weaknesses on the outside. He even saw the value in his weaknesses, for Paul said when he was weak, then he was strong. When he acknowledged his weaknesses he was also acknowledging God as the Almighty one.

I have a lot of problems. God is teaching me how to lean on Him. I’m getting there faster, but I still don’t have it completely mastered, and maybe I won’t on this side of glory. But, I do see progress. Things that used to get me entangled don’t. But, I still get struggle at times.

I am thanking God for my trials more than I ever have before. Nothing happens to me without his permission. God’s purpose for me is greater than my desire for things to go smoothly. He is in the process of making me like Jesus. And that process is sometimes painful. There’s a lot of pride he is sanding away. There’s a lot of pride he is purging. The heat is excruciating at times as it burns away impurities. But, when God is done and he opens the door of my furnace, I’m going to look like Jesus, and it will be worth it.

Courage. Doing it scared. 

If fear is preventing you from going forward, do it anyway. Do it in spite of your fears. As followers of Christ, we never go through a door alone. Isn’t that great to know?

God gives us grace. Grace enough for each day. The problem comes when we worry into tomorrow. We don’t have grace for tomorrow, not till then. Satan likes us to worry, it’s one of his favorite tactics. Along with telling us lies. He’s the one who whispers to us, 

“God doesn’t care.”

God does care about us. Lately God keeps showing me little sparrows whenever I’m tempted to worry. Just when I need to be reminded how much God cares for me. I’ll look and there they are. On a branch outside my window, on the lawn, even in a parking lot at Wal-Mart. Yep, God knows when I need encouragement and he sends it my way.

It says in Romans 8:32, “He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?”

God gave us his most valuable possession. What could we possibly need that would be more valuable than Jesus? Nothing.

God is always looking out for my best interest. Even when he allows difficult things in my life. 

A third lie that Satan loves telling us is, 

“You’re not going to make it.”

The good news is, God will never leave us. He will enable us to do whatever he wants us to do. God is in this for the long haul. He’s not going anywhere. Over and over in scripture he tells us that he will help us. 

I used to get frustrated when reading about the Israelites. I wondered when they were ever going to get it. I questioned God’s patience with them, as they would mess up and call on him and he would come. They’d mess up, they’d call, and he’d answer. Now that I’ve lived for X amount of years I have a different view of them. I’m glad God was patient with them, because that means I have a better chance. And the fact that he kept going to them over and over despite their grumbling and complaining encourages me. I’m not always thankful.

I need a God of 2nd, 3rd, and even 4th chances. 

God cares, He is the great provider, and I am going to make it. Not because of who I am, but because of whose I am.

I know one day I’ll look back on my life and realize it was just a drop in the bucket. God had everything under control every step of the way. 

I may have needs, but God already knows what they are. He has been faithful to me all these years and he never changes. 

The next time Satan whispers lies to you, just hold on to what is true. And you’ll see the lies diminish right before your eyes.

God loves you more than you can imagine. You can believe it, it’s the truth.

Our society encourages us to feel entitled. Sometimes our upbringing could help in this, depending on how we were raised. Feeling entitled is not reserved for those who have come from wealthier homes. For instance, a person could struggle financially and somewhere in the back of their minds feel, “Enough already, now it’s my turn.” 

The enemy of our souls wants us to feel entitled, as if we have a right to something. Then he sits back, chuckling as seeds of discontent and ingratitude start taking root. 

Satan even approached Eve on this point when she was deciding whether to eat, or pass from a certain tree. When he was done with her she felt she had a right to eat not only that fruit, but any fruit her little stomach desired.

At the root of our sense of entitlement is pride. The truth is we brought nothing into the world and it is certain we will take nothing out. Jokes were told about no hearse pulling a U-haul. Somewhere within us we struggle with feeling we do deserve something, sometimes we feel we deserve more than we have.

Commercials boom at us, “you’re worth it,”  hamburger places tell us, We deserve a break today at McDonald’s.” They must be right, they’re on tv!

The Bible tells us in 1Timothy 6:8  if we have food and clothing we are to be content. The problem seems to surface when we see others who have food and clothing and then some.

God loves it when we’re thankful, just as we parents love it when we give our children or grandchildren something and they show gratitude. 

I’m praying that God shows me if I have a feeling of entitlement anywhere. I want it replaced with a grateful heart for each and every thing he provides. It is all by his hand, you know. Every bit of it. And we get in trouble if we forget that.

I love the illustrations God gives us for what he says in the Word. Well, some of them. January 31st, I was with my grandson’s, Jude and Charlie at a local gym. It’s where the kids can play when it’s too cold outside. While we were there I saw the basketball hoops, I saw a couple basketballs and I asked myself, “Why not?”

So I grabbed the basketball and dribbled around making a shot. In! Remembering how much I used to like this I kept going and going and going. By the 5th basket I was wondering if any of the other parents had noticed my skills. The last shot had missed and came back with such force off the backboard it dislocated my little finger. I remember looking down at my hand and thinking, “that wasn’t like that before.”

Immediately I ran up to one of the fathers and asked if I could just put it back in place. Being in an emergency room with two little ones, was not on my agenda for that weekend together. The father responded, “I don’t know.”

The second person I approached was a nurse’s aid and she told me if I thought I could do it, I could try.

I prayed as I firmly took my finger and put it back in place. It didn’t freak me out or anything. I could still bend it and I thought it was the end of the story. I was wrong.

It was bothersome at times but then at church I showed it to a nurse who said, “that could be broken.”

Since I had broken this pinkie finger twice before I didn’t think it was broken, but decided to see a doctor. Xrays were taken and will find out the results.

I brought all this up for two reasons. 1) to let you know I can shoot baskets, though I think my career is over.

2) to share how this little appendage really matters.

It was then I saw the illustration God uses about the body and its many parts and how each member of the body is important. I miss being able to use my little finger in the way it was intended.

I feel miserable when it hurts. All the other fingers try to help out but they have their own parts to do. That little finger is very important. I know the other fingers are going to be so glad when the health is restored to their little member. They will probably all want to clap for joy, though I will have to discourage that.

Each of us is important. No matter what our role is, we all matter.

Following my injury my grandson, Jude said, “Gwamma, I don’t think you should play with the basketball.”

Looking down at my injury I just shook my head. I think he may be right.

Yesterday I remember having a blanket of fear envelop me. Not certain if it was even something specific, but that didn’t matter, there I was in its clenches.

I decided to quote scripture, two verses in particular. I quoted the verse that tells us, “God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and a sound mind.” from 2Timothy 1:7.

The second verse I quote was found in 1John 4:4. “Greater is he that is in you than he that is in the world.”

Every time I felt a twinge of fear I quoted the verse. And a funny thing happened. The twinges became less and I felt empowered. God had used his truth to show me he is bigger than can scare us.

I even posted the two verses and then asked, “Now, what was it I was afraid of?”

I can’t tell you how good a day it was yesterday. I believe it was a good day because I decided to appropriate God’s word. To take it out of one dimension which is the words in a book and to apply it in my multi-dimensional world. Those verses stayed with me all day.

Later last night I felt like stretching a little and remembering the verses I stepped out a little.

God’s word is not magic, but it is truth. The next time you are troubled in any way, let the spirit of God be the comforter God says he is. Listen for God’s prompting and you will hear words of encouragement.

I have decided I will try this whenever I can feel my feet slip. God is ever present. He has promised he will never leave us. He calls us His children. And I know that He is the ultimate Father. He can’t be anything less.

We all have them. I’d venture to say almost everyday we are disappointed with something or someone. Disappointment coexists with expectations. Some people think they can ward them off by trying to live without expectations. 

“I won’t expect anything and that way I won’t get hurt.”

The problem with that is when we disengage ourselves in one area we are disconnected in others.

Perhaps we would be less disappointed if we saw God as He is, sovereign. It says in Psalm 84:11, “For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord gives grace and glory; no good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” 

So according to that verse we can know deep down, if God says “no,” He has reasons I don’t understand. He is after all, God. 

We get in trouble when we think God is on the same level with us. We kind of tell Him what we want and then wait for it in anticipation. There are basic truths we can hold onto.

God is always looking out for our ultimate good. Always.

Do we agree with that? Sometimes we will, sometimes we wont. It depends on how much we want what we’re asking Him for.  

We need to trust God’s character and what is true when we’re tempted to believe the enemy of our souls at times of disappointment. 

No good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly. He’s talking about those of us who know Jesus personally. Because we trust in Christ we are walking uprightly.

It doesn’t mean that what we’re asking for isn’t good, but other aspects should also be considered. Maybe it’s good, but the timing isn’t right. God is the God of all time. He sees the future, we don’t.

Maybe He’s withholding the thing I want because it wouldn’t be good for someone else in our lives if He were to give it to us. He knows the hearts of all men.

Maybe God has a more important thing to teach us by this disappointment.  

God is the ultimate parent. We can’t see other parents as being good, without the realization they couldn’t be good parents if God wasn’t a loving parent. God is more loving, more patient, more giving. 

As we sit nursing disappointments it’s easy for them to transform into resentments. Instead, we can rest in what we know to be true about God.

God loves us.  John 15:13 says, “Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” 

We must remember truth when we are presented with lies. Remember, Satan is the father of lies. He thrives on them.

Satan told Eve that God didn’t really care about her. Why should Satan change his tactics, when they work.

We can choose to trust in God’s truth when we are tempted to think otherwise. Like David, we can think back to other times God has provided for us.

And we can spend our time praising God, even thanking Him when He chooses to withhold things, for He is all wise, all-knowing, and all-loving. No one loves us more, no one.  

January 27, 2011 Time’s Up Blog. “How Can we Help?” Even without special training, there are things we can do to help those we know in domestic violence situations. Article by Anne Peterson. 

Posted January 31, 2011 by Christian Bible Studies, through Christianity Today. “Finding Contentment by Killing Comparisons” by Anne Peterson.

It was harmless enough. I picked up a basketball and started shooting hoops. I got one in looking around to see if anyone noticed. Then a second, a third. By the time I made a 5th basket I was smiling inside and out. Then it happened, my career was cut short. I looked down and the last returning ball had left its mark on my little pinky. 

My finger was out of joint. Let me point out this is the same finger I once broke in a volleyball game years ago. Sadly, it’s also the same finger which broke when I used it as a make-shift brake on a runaway sled I was riding with my little boy. 

Running to get help while keeping my eyes on my two little grandchildren I reached a father also in the gym.

“Can I just put it back?” I asked with urgency.

“I don’t know,” he responded.

On I went to another person.

I repeated, “Can I just put it back in place?”

“You can try,” she responded watching me.

And then, I surprised even myself as I took a firm grasp of the dislocated pinky and put it back in place.

“Are you able to bend it?” she asked.

There, in my presence God had provided a nurse’s assistant.

“We better put ice on it.”

Within moments my finger was iced, I was seated to try and relax and I started to breathe. Visions of me seated in an emergency room were not what I wanted this weekend.

Well, days later, I am still babying my pinky and thankful it didn’t break.

My grandson’s take on the whole episode,

“I don’t think you should play with the basketball, Gwamma.”

Out of the mouths of babes.

One thing I want to get better at is focus. I’m pretty good at focusing, but sometimes I’m focused on the wrong thing.

I want to learn how to stay on God even when my emotions are screaming for my attention. Peter did okay walking on the water when he had the right focus. But, as soon as his focus moved off his master, he noticed everything around him.

I wonder if that’s why God encourages us to “Be still, and know that he is God.”

He knew how distracted we would be. It somehow gets easier to be distracted in this world. It used to be that you did one thing at a time, more if you were a mom. Then you needed to multitask. 

Now, people are always multitasking. There is call waiting for that next call you have to take. You have facebook and it’s always someone’s birthday or someone does something you just want to respond to.

When you watch TV it just seems like it’s a myriad of messages that bombard you at the same time. Even on the news, more than one person talks at a time causing you to dart your eyes back and forth so as not to miss anything.

No longer do you get a letter through the mail that you can hold and read and tuck away to read later. Now you instantly receive emails that multiply so quickly. I recently heard of someone who came back from vacation to 100 emails to attend to.

I notice that when things seem awry it’s because my focus is off. God hasn’t moved at all, I’ve looked away, in another direction.

The good news is, when Peter called out to the Lord the Bible says IMMEDIATELY the Lord reached out and helped him. We need to add things to our lives that will help us focus better.

I have a good friend, and when my focus gets off at all she is a person who will lovingly point it out. I thank God for her.

We need to help those whose focus is off. Mostly, when my focus is off it’s on me. But, it doesn’t matter what our focus is on, it just matters that we get it back to where it needs to be.

Then we can see that the giants are really not giants, and the thing that seemed insurmountable isn’t insurmountable to God. We can focus on who He is and not on what is all around us.

Focus is really important. I’m glad God has given us His Holy Spirit to help us and remind us of truth when we start looking elsewhere and believing lies.

God, thanks so much for your great love. Help me better focus on You. 

Snow has blanketed the ground. Sparkly, white snow. See it glimmering? It really is beautiful. Snow causes me to reflect on earlier time. I remember as a child dressing to go outdoors. Making a snowman, throwing snow balls. We would wear rubber galoshes over our shoes making sure we took them off as soon as we hit the front door. We didn’t have snow pants which meant our times outdoors were shortened. Trudging in we hoped to be greeted by a cup of hot cocoa, complete with bobbing marshmallows.

When our winter vacation concluded, we’d carefully walk to school through the icy alley carefully watching each step. Falling was a good teacher. 

When my husband was stationed in Germany, I remember sledding while we had a break at a Winter Bible conference in Switzerland. There I was with my 5 year old son, Nathan ready to have the time of our lives. At the bottom of the hill was Mike, ready to take the memorable picture. While we sailed down I realized we were headed straight for a barbed wire fence. I knew I needed to do something to stop us or my son would be hurt. Inexperienced as a sledder I used the only thing I had available, my hand.

Extending it from the sleigh I succeeded at stopping the sled and we toppled off. Unfortunately there was a price to pay; a broken little finger.

It’s funny what you will do for your children. Was I sorry I did it? Never. That was my son, I didn’t want him hurt.

God loves us so much more than we could ever love our children. He sacrificed his only son because of that love. My finite mind has a problem understanding that. That God would actually give up his son for some who would choose not to believe. But God so loved the world. Amazing. If I were the only person on earth, he still would have died for me. 

Love gives, even when it hurts.

This Christmas I’m thinking about God’s gift and how much it cost. I have thought a lot about that quiet night when Mary gave birth to Jesus. How God lit the sky with that brilliant light proclaiming to the world, “He’s here!”

Surrounded by barnyard animals God entered our world as a tiny, helpless baby. A baby who would grow up to give his life for the likes of you and me.

That’s the best present we’ll ever have. Wrapped on Christmas in swaddling clothes. 

Merry Christmas.