I used to be hardly here.
Let me explain. Since I’ve lost so many loved ones, I made a decision.
Okay, I’ll be here, but I won’t enjoy myself.
God wants us to live, not merely exist.
Enmeshment will sometimes make it hard to be happy when others are not. It blurs the lines between people.
I took a little piece of chalk and outlined all my skin,
to understand more fully, where you end and I begin.
“Survivor guilt,” is another term I could relate with. It’s when you feel guilty when your loved ones die and you’re still alive.
I recently read a book that’s causing me to believe it’s possible to be happy.
God is happy when we’re happy
God used one of my little grandsons to show me this.
I LOVE my grandchildren. They are one of God’s best ideas. I love watching my grandkids play. And when they’re happy—I’m happy. I’m serious about that.
I remember when Charlie who is four, lost his special car, one he slept with.
He said, “Gwamma, I don’t think I’ll find my blue Lightning McQueen, ever again.”
His sad blue eyes broke my heart.
“Did you pray about it, Charlie?” I asked.
And so he did, right then.
I’m a grandma who knows how important little things are to little hearts. So, I went looking yet again, for his beloved car.
God cares about what we care about
God cared about that car, because God cares about Charlie. Giddy, I came downstairs with my hand behind my back.
“Charlie, guess what Grandma found?”
“I don’t know,” he said.
“Charlie, God answered your prayer!”
And when he saw his car; a smile covered his fully freckled face.
Thinking of that day, I realize something important. God gives us the gift of life.
Enjoying life is a gift we give God
Happiness and contentment live in the same house. A content person = a happy person.
Philippians 2:14 says, “Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you.”
When we complain or argue, it’s a sign we’re unhappy. When we’re happy, we have more patience with others.
I said to my daughter Jessica, “ I’m going to see if I can get through the whole day without complaining.”
And you know what? I didn’t make it.
We can control our attitudes
If you struggle with complaining. or you struggle with being critical. If you never see smiles in your mirror, maybe you need a good handbook. A book that will help you revamp your thinking.
Romans 12:2 says, “Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…”
My mind needs to be renewed. I need to think of more positive things and less negative.
It’s not enough that I’ve giving myself permission to live. I want to enjoy my life—to be happy. It will make my Father happy too.
It’s worth a try.
It is worth a try, for the sake of our children and precious grandchildren like Charlie. I will join you in not complaining and being content.
Kathleen,
Thanks for reading and for joining me Kathleen.
A whole day without complaining? Oh, that’s a tough call! But one I feel worth trying to emulate anyway. Thank you so much for this delightful little story and the moral wrapped up in it. Bryan’s book sounds eminently readable and helpful. And I hope to do just that once I’m caught up a bit more with my other reading commitments – your book included, Anne – sorry..! 🙂 xx
Joy,
Yes, it is a tough call, but the benefits of not complaining are really great. I’m learning it’s been an area keeping me from being thankful. Glad you liked my little story. Don’t apologize for not reading my book as yet. It’s fine.
I can see what you mean as it is far better to speak positively than negatively. It’s a lesson I am still trying to put into practice – some days better than others! Thank you for the grace re your book. You can send me a copy whenever you like now. I’m looking forward to reading it! 🙂 x
Joy,
You get to see it almost completely edited.
There’s a couple of spots that will still be done.
Don’t worry about reading for errors, just let me know what you think content-wise, tone, etc.
Anne
Love this Anne I must say I was lucky enough to be born into a family where my dad counted his blessings and my mum always had a positive word to say and still does. I wake up with a one thought. Today can be a good day if I let it! Even when I am challenged which is often….if I stay positive it seems to be over quicker than if I choose negativity. Great post and one we could all take some time to think about.
Kath,
Thanks for your thoughtful comments. It must have been nice growing up in a hope where positive things were encouraged. I think negativity takes energy from people. Thanks for reading Kath.
I never thought about trying to go a whole day without complaining. I think of myself as a fairly happy person, but I suspect I will be surprised at how often negative words fly out when I’m consciously keeping track. I’ll be trying this…
Rebecca,
Thanks for reading. I don’t know how many times I have read that verse about not complaining, but somehow it really spoke to me and I decided to try it. I feel like God has been faithful in showing me exactly how many times I have complained. The exciting thing is, I’m even catching myself as I’ve begun to complain. I believe when we are with negative people they take our energy. I don’t want to do that to others. Let me know how it goes with you.
Oh my. I didn’t realize the negative things flowing from my lips! I failed within the first couple of hours of my morning—two days in a row. This has really shifted my mindset, Anne. I am trying to be more conscious of my words. (I even recently wrote a 3 part series on words, but I really wasn’t seeing the little things that I unthinkingly say.) Thank you for the eye opener!
I have a big smile from reading your story, Anne. Charlie will agree you are a great grandma. Sweet.
Patricia,
Any time I can put a smile on someone’s face, I’ve won. And when it’s someone whose writing I admire, well it’s even better. Thank you for reading.